Episode 22: Trusting Your Intuition and Navigating Grief with Amy Cantwell
Summary
In this episode, we’re joined by Amy Cantwell, who shares her deeply moving story of losing her first daughter, Anne, at 28 weeks. Amy walks us through the raw reality of that experience—from the intuitive feeling that something was wrong to the physical and emotional toll of the days that followed.
She talks about working through the profound loss by grounding herself in truth and finding unique rituals to manage her grief. Our conversation also follows her subsequent path through self-advocacy and an IVF journey that eventually led to the birth of her daughter, Callie. Join us as we explore the complexities of motherhood, the importance of listening to your intuition, and the strength it takes to thrive after the unthinkable.
Takeaways
The role of intuition and physical sensations in recognizing pregnancy complications
Navigating grief: seeking support, grounding practices, and truth-telling
The impact of grief on mental health and strategies for healing, including therapy and rituals
Amy’s IVF journey: invasive procedures, genetic insights, and overcoming health challenges
The importance of self-advocacy in fertility treatments and pregnancy care
The emotional complexity of processing loss while celebrating the surviving child
Ways to honor and remember loved ones lost, integrating spirituality and rituals
Practical advice for women facing similar journeys: asking questions, building supportive communities, and being gentle with oneself
Chapters
01:57 - The emotional shock of losing the heartbeat and hospital experience
03:52 - Birth of Anne: induction, labor, and physical trauma
05:07 - The significance of holding her daughter for 24 hours and autopsy findings
06:47 - Grounding in truth and processing grief through therapy
09:23 - Juxtaposition of deep grief and gratitude; remembering other women’s loss
10:55 - The impact of grief and mourning rituals on healing
12:41 - Grounding tools: opening hands, mindfulness, and managing stress
13:44 - The importance of facts in emotional regulation and decision-making
14:18 - Parenting after loss: managing big emotions in children
15:49 - Navigating social situations like baby showers and boundaries
17:14 - Post-loss hospital procedures, photos, and cremation choices
19:49 - Reflection: telling her younger self she’s proud and resilient
21:29 - The IVF process: multiple losses, invasive treatments, and hope
22:12 - Details of IVF procedures: egg retrieval, medication, and complications
24:33 - Managing pregnancy fears after repeated loss
26:40 - The discovery of health factors like protein S deficiency
28:02 - The importance of being your own health advocate
30:24 - Choosing the right care team and building advocacy skills
36:35 - The experience of delivering her daughter Callie after loss
38:35 - Birth story of Callie and her healthy arrival
39:02 - Rituals for honoring Anne and processing grief annually
40:44 - Balancing grief with celebration and hope for the future
41:00 - How to talk to children about loss and presence of loved ones in spirit
42:20 - Differing grief experiences with partners and support systems
43:02 - Final reflections: sharing stories to lessen loneliness and honor loved ones
Resources
Postpartum Support International (PSI) | Text “Help” to 800-944-4773
