• 5/27/26

Episode 27: Ferrari Engine, Bicycle Brakes: Navigating Adult ADHD Diagnosis with Katy Weber

Summary

Have you felt like everyone else received a manual to life that you somehow missed? In today's episode, we sit down with Katy Weber who is an ADHD advocate and coach, and host of the Women & ADHD podcast. Katy shares her personal story of being diagnosed during the pandemic at age of 45. Despite appearing as high-achieving, she was white-knuckling her way through daily life, battling internal hyperactivity, and mistaking her struggles for personal failure.

We dive deep into why so many women are overlooked by standard diagnostic tools, which were originally built around the behavior of young boys. Katy opens up about the eye-opening moments that changed everything—including how overcompensating to hide executive dysfunction leaves women completely exhausted.

Katy also shares why the real key to thriving with ADHD isn't a magical planner or app, but a radical shift in mindset toward self-acceptance, how she navigated her kids' ADHD diagnosis, the biggest misconceptions about adult ADHD, and what friends can do to better understand and support their friends with ADHD.

Takeaways

The "Pandemic Diagnosis" Wave: Katy shares how the overwhelming demands of lockdown in 2020 led her therapist to suggest ADHD—a moment that completely floored her because of the stereotypes surrounding the condition.
The Mask of High Achievement: Many adult women with ADHD present as high-achieving "A++" perfectionists. In reality, they are often using a Herculean amount of energy to overcompensate for executive function deficits.
The Swan Metaphor: On the surface, a woman with ADHD may look perfectly calm, but underneath the water, she is madly paddling just to tread water and keep up.
The Brain-Body Connection: Katy highlights a fascinating, emerging frontier of research regarding the huge overlap between adult female neurodivergence and physical health struggles, including autoimmune disorders, fibromyalgia, and chronic pain.
Katy’s Number One Brain Hack ("Parking"): To protect limited working memory, Katy relies heavily on "parking" tasks—offloading reminders to specific future dates and times using her Apple Watch so her brain doesn't have to waste energy holding onto them.
A Radical Shift to Self-Acceptance: Thriving with ADHD starts with understanding your brain neurobiologically. As expert Ned Hallowell puts it, it’s like having a "Ferrari engine with bicycle brakes." Stop fighting the engine and start giving yourself the right tools.

Chapters

00:55 – The "Pandemic Diagnosis" & The High-Achieving Facade
03:10 – Why ADHD in Adult Women is Overlooked
07:54 – Navigating the Official Medical Diagnosis
11:38 – Demystifying Executive Functioning
15:23 – Dopamine Deficiencies & The Traps of Hyperfocus
19:17 – Major Trends in Women's ADHD Stories
22:20 – The Brain-Body Frontiers: Autoimmune and Physical Pain
24:01 – "Ferrari Engine, Bicycle Brakes": Shifting to Radical Self-Acceptance
27:19 – Demystifying Medication: Titration, Stimulants, and Stigma
31:05 – Smart Coping Strategies & The Power of "Parking"
35:01 – Organized Chaos vs. Purgatory Piles
37:16 – "If They Could, They Would": How to Be a Better Friend and Parent
40:06 – Double Diagnoses: Parenting a Boy and a Girl with ADHD
45:08 – School Accommodations, Masquerading, and Safe Spaces
48:17 – The Biggest Misconceptions About ADHD
50:37 – Where to Connect with Katy & Closing Credits

Resources

Free Resources for ADHD Brains: womenandadhd.com/freebies
Focused Space coworking: get.focused.space/womenadhd (Get 20% off with code: WOMENADHD)
Katy's Recommended Screening Tool: ADDitude Magazine Adult ADHD Symptom Test
Katy’s YouTube Recommendation: How to ADHD by Jessica McCabe